There are plenty of reasons to smoke marijuana, but most of them involve you and your friends sitting on your asses watching Super Troopers and then playing video games while eating Cheetos, Fritos, Doritos, or any other kind of “-ito” snack. The following is a list of more practical reasons to blaze.
8. Empty out a plastic bag so it’s available for other uses. Sure, you could go out and actually buy more bags, but this is more efficient.
7. Equal out effects of other drugs that you’re on. Whether you’re hyped up on caffeine or cocaine, marijuana can help bring you down to a relaxed and happy level. Furthermore, unlike alcohol, marijuana wont have you waking up next to that fat girl that you used to make fun of having no memory from the night before.
6. Test out a new or recently cleaned/fixed piece. Think of it this way: if you take your car to the shop (or buy a new one), are you not going to drive it right afterwards?
5. Prepare yourself for a bad meal. The munchies can be a powerful tool, especially if you have an upcoming meal and you know that the food is going to be of low quality for some reason. When you’re stoned and food is placed in front of you, you’ll eat it (and probably love it) even if it is crappy.
4. Get to 4 hours from now quicker. Some of us are busy and need to high-time-travel to get stuff done.
3. Finish up a batch of low-quality greenery. When you bought a bag of low-quality stuff to get you through the dry times, it made sense. But now that you got your dank stuff back, you want to enjoy it. Of course, it only makes sense to finish up what you got first (before it becomes to old and dry). Nobody throws away marijuana.
2. Cover up an objectionable smell (B.O., dirty laundry, etc). Just as febreeze can be used to cover up the smell of marijuana smoke, marijuana smoke can be used to cover up the smell that your room probably has due to you being a lazy pothead that never cleans it.
1. Unclog (by smoking through) a piece. Bowls and bongs often become clogged. Some people use various tools (paper clips, toothpicks, etc) to clean them out, but smoking it out (while it may be a little bit more difficult) is much more efficient and practical. I put this one at the top of the list because it only leads to more smoking (see #6).
Note: I’m not advocating illegal activity, this is just a humorous piece. Check your local laws before you decide to break them.
