Maybe this applies to the person sitting next to you, or possibly in front of you. Or maybe, just maybe, fate has set your eyes upon this to rectify your very own behavior. Hmm?

6. You hold your pencil in a goofy fashion. By the time you were being taught cursive, your teachers should’ve been getting the fingers on appropriate sides of the pencil. If you’re in a 300 level international relations lecture and you still take notes like some kind of trained ape, you’re an idiot.

5. You keep your head ridiculously close to the paper whenever writing. You know what I mean; those people that lower their heads to literally just one inch above their notebooks. I’m not quite sure why it’s done, possibly to be that much closer to napping position. Whatever the reason, it’s stupid. I’m pretty sure that John Hancock wasn’t rubbing his face all up and down the Declaration of Independence when he was doing his deed.

4. Your paper has to be turned ninety degrees, or perpindicular to you, for you to write. Agin, stupid. Again, Declaration of Independence example.

3. You bring your fancy laptop computer only to Facebook (yes, it’s a verb) and shop eBay for the best deals on Uggs. Whatever your specific situation is, somebody worked or is working hard to pay for your tuition, books, and even that portable computational device of yours. Make use of what you’re paying for, because then you can actually be justified when you bitch about how expensive college is.

2. Come to class only to sleep through 98% of it very conspicuously. Every college student doses off in some class at some point, but this is for those people that always do it…all the time…in every class…and then usually complain about how hard their life is. Whether it’s shotgunning energy drinks or running outside and jumping into the nearest body of water, do whatever you need to get through it…or else I’ll use my steel-toed boots as your alarm clock.

1. You contribute to the discussion to get attention, but you don’t actually say anything new or interesting. “Yeah, well I, like that guy over there, think that, uh, Hitler was a manipulative but, uh, bad guy. He was, like, pretty smart in some ways, but, then, he ended up killing himself…so that was kinda stupid. Uh, yeah.” Maybe you should take a note from Hitler and give up now. You don’t have to kill yourself, but do us all a favor and don’t try to talk in class.